I love canapes. I love them the way Romeo loved Juliet, or Nigel Farage loves Brexit. They are bite-size morsels of deliciousness, with the added benefit that nothing so small could possibly contain any calories. I hoover them up at parties like Pac-Man eating Pac-Dots.
So imagine my joy when my old university invited me to a soiree at the Royal Society. Doesn’t the word ‘soiree’ just scream ‘canapes’ to you? And as if that weren’t enough joy, my bestie Liz was going too. She’s the woman who spotted early on that I was a bit flighty, and assiduously safeguarded me through three years of drunken student antics. In fact, she did such a good job that I sometimes think she should have been awarded my degree as well as her own.
Now I may be blonde, but I’m not completely naïve. I know that I haven’t been invited to this illustrious event purely because university is missing me and anxious to know what I’ve been doing over the last decade. They want my money, and they’re prepared to serve me any number of canapes to get it. Little do they know, all my spare cash is ear-marked for fancy shoes, which closely rival canapes in my affections.
And so it was that I went along last night, dressed appropriately smartly and in a pair of shoes I thought would set the room on fire. And, what do you know, there were a series of really interesting talks – the future of the interweb (hello, Dr Anil Madhavapeddy!), the science of fat (thank you, Professor Sir Stephen O’Rahilly) and how Muslim housewives can influence politics through exercise classes (interesting stuff, Dr Sertac Sehlikoglu); all rounded off with a few amusing anecdotes from lovely Tim Brooke-Taylor (I’m a fan). Not to mention as much wine as I could drink.
And from the evening, I have learnt three important things:
- It’s really not my fault that I can’t resist cake. It’s totally, incontrovertibly my genes. Science says so.
- I’m too old to wear fancy shoes two nights in a row. I was hobbling like the wicked witch of the west on the school run this morning – no wonder she uses a broom stick.
- I type this with great sadness, but the terrible truth is that no matter how many canapes you eat, they will never soak up the amount of alcohol you drink.
So much fun and so much learning! It was such a good evening that I may even forego a shoe or two and make a donation. It probably won’t pay for a new library, but it might buy a book or two. Long live education!
Thanks to Cooking With Julie for the picture at the top. I need a woman like you in my life!